Being Successful and Unique

Have you ever looked at the people that are wildly successful AND happy? Usually these people have done something different; we can see their “it” factor. And we wonder why some people have it and some don’t.

Well, I think we all have that special thing, it’s just that many have covered it up, attempting to be part of the normal crowd, which is sad since this uniqueness is what can help us reach our goals.

Plus, it’s counterproductive since the people that embrace their uniqueness are usually the ones that we gravitate towards. We are attracted to genuine people.

Another amazing side effect of being who we are meant to be is that it lessens jealousy, competition and judgmental feelings. After all, if I am happy with Towanda I am far less likely to judge you.

Unfortunately, conforming starts young, and is many times fueled by parents. Statements like “See how Jane is sitting there playing with the blocks, why can’t you do that?” slowly take root and our children begin to feel like they can only be accepted if they do what others are doing.

Now, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t teach some social norms, after all manners, for one, are very important. But, I think we need to question our motives.

Are we teaching them, and ourselves, something for acceptance or because it will make them/us better people? And will it achieve the desired outcome of our children growing into happy, successful adults?

That is the goal and being unique is a great way to reach it.

Power in Being Grateful

Today I am thankful for the gift of gratitude. Being grateful allows me to focus on the greatness of God, the positive aspects of my life, and it encourages me to be loving toward others. I am grateful for many things, like…

  • A cooing baby at 4:45. I could look at this as cutting in to my sleep, but the time I get to spend with my baby before everyone else wakes up is priceless. With three girls under four this is truly a treat.
  • My almost two-year-old sleeping with me. Yes, I do miss having a bed with no kids and I’m trying to get her to sleep in her own bed. However, I find a sense of peace knowing that she feels most secure and peaceful with us. It’s great to know that Hubby and I have been blessed to provide a loving, supportive and safe environment for our children. Not every parent has this peace and I don’t take it for granted.
  • Great family and friends. I can’t say enough about this. I’ll just say I love them all so very much, just for being themselves.
  • Being pretty healthy. Sometimes this is overlooked, but when you’ve had health problems and/or experienced it through loved ones you realize the gift in being healthy.
  • My hectic lifestyle. Juggling family, work, friends and “me” time is not easy, but I will take it over the alternative any day!
  • The technology that helps me juggle – my computer, BlackBerry, phones, DVR, Social Media and GPS.
  • Being able to express myself through writing. It’s a gift and I know it.
  • Being able to love, forgive and be happy. All of these things are choices we make everyday.
  • Chocolate. It’s one of the best inventions EVER!

It’s Really For the Girls…

Sometimes as a parent you get to buy yourself something fabulous and pretend it’s for your kids. Today is one of those days for me. I’ve been looking for the perfect kitchen set for the girls, not the typical plastic ones you find in stores. And then, I found this… JB’s Play Kitchens.

So, needless to say, I am on cloud nine right now, because not only is this fabulous, but I can have it CUSTOMIZED! Oh yeah, I am so elated right now. I will keep you posted on the progress and I’ll be sure to post photos of my… umm, I mean the girls’ kitchen when it is finished.



Tips for Shopping and Buying on Craig’s List

One of my guilty pleasures is shopping on Craig’s List. While I love shopping in malls, boutiques, etc. there is nothing like perfecting my art of bargain hunting.

In the spirit of sharing, here is some advice for sellers and buyers.


  •  If you are looking for home items, search the last two weeks of the month. This is when most people are moving and you get the best deals.
  •  Test any electronics before money is exchanged. Get all warranty paperwork if available, even if it is expired. There is other information on there that you can use for repairs if needed later.
  •  When picking up an item, try to meet at a neutral location. If that is not possible, here’s a safety tip. Call a friend and have them on the phone during the transaction. With a headset this is not intrusive, but if anything goes wrong they can quickly call 911.
  •  Craigslist is a great place for baby/children items. And if you need more than one thing, inquire from the person selling. Normally they are selling items because their children have outgrown them. This means they usually have more than one thing to sell.


  • Prove it to me. This is especially true for the phrases “Almost new” and “bought a few months ago”. In your ad tell me that you have the receipt as proof. Those ads get a call back first because there is proof to back up the statement.
  • ALWAYS  post a picture, a real picture. Please do not Photoshop!
  •  Use descriptive words. Tell me the style of the item, any special features, why you’re selling. Help me connect to the product.
  •  List your location in the ad. Let me know where you are located. Are you in a certain community, on a certain side of town, off a major highway, etc? This will limit the number of people contacting you that are not willing to travel for pick up.
  •  Avoid cutesy names. Use the name that most people will put in a search. And if there are two names (i.e. sofa and couch) use both in your post.
  •  Unless you are selling something EXTREMELY cheap, I mean almost free, clean up the area before taking a picture. It’s hard for me to see the dresser if you have clothes and clutter on top of it!

The Danger of Using Barbie To Define Beauty

Barbie’s “So In Style” Grace doll was part of my swag from Blogalicious ’09. I thought she and her little sister Courtney were beautiful, and I added the other two SIS dolls to my things-to-buy list immediately.

Then I saw the So In Style Hair Debate  article on In short, the article discusses complaints of the dolls having long, straight hair. This rubbed me the wrong way for a couple of reasons.

First of all, my daughters define beauty by looking at me and the other important women in their lives. If they hear us using the terms “good hair” and “bad hair” then that is what they will do. So, if I want my daughter to see the beauty and versatility of hair- natural, relaxed, whatever-then I need to do that by example.

And so what if the dolls come with long hair? I remember cutting my Barbie’s hair to look like Salt ‘n Pepa, because to me that was the epitome of cool.  I also remember braiding it and trying to color it with kool-aid (yes mommy, that’s where the kool-aid packs were going). I made her clothes and Ken was not her boyfriend, but her back-up dancer. That was part of the fun of being a child, I could be creative and my inspiration was part pop culture/part everyday life.

One of the great things about hair IS the versatility. I love that I can have an afro one day and a straight bob the next. Sometimes my baby wants two-strand twists and other days she wants ponytails. If there is a kit that lets her do her doll’s hair with different textures I don’t see that as a bad thing, just more ways for her to experiment.

So, while I understand the debate when we are shown in a less than positive light, this Barbie debate is not that. These are beautiful, educated, career-oriented dolls, that are also black.

Teaching Kids A Positive Self Image

My kids listen, especially when I’m not talking to them, :-).

It’s funny how quiet they can get when they’re trying to hear what I’m saying on the phone or in conversation with other adults.

Because I know this, I’m careful with my words when they are around.

Here are a few things I will not say around my girls:

  • I’m on a diet.
  • Does this make me look fat?
  • Why can’t you be more like your sister?
  • You are so bad.
  • Anything negative about their hair or body.
  • That’s not how everyone else does it.

This is a short list to make a very important point. As Mommy, I understand that their self-image is being formed, in part, by the things I do and say everyday.

I am teaching them through self-acceptance and positive praise that they are smart, beautiful girls that can do whatever they decide to do because that is what their Mommy does.

As they get older I hope these positive affirmations will drown out the negative messages. I want them to be comfortable with themselves, and have no desire to conform to standards that are not based on their individual beauty.

Natural Hairstyle for Little Girls – Two Strand Twists

Little girls natural hair style, two strand twist with ponytailMy Daughter Loves Her Natural Hair!

Sometimes children say things that make you smile inside because it shows you’ve made a positive impression, even when you are not thinking about it.

This is how I felt when my daughter asked me, “Mommy, can you do my hair like yours?”.

Here are her two-strand twists and she LOVES them.

#allhairisgoodhair #TeamNaturalHair

When Career and Passion Find Each Other

My struggle, that one area in life that has caused me much debate, is my career. Not that I don’t like what I do (I actually love it!), but I am most passionate about writing. I love everything about words and the power they have to instruct, inform and entertain, often simultaneously. I find it amazing that something written hundreds or thousands of years ago can be relevant today.

However, I have fought being a “writer” because I didn’t want something that I am so passionate about to turn into something I loathe. And instead of dealing with it directly, I created another distraction, my career.

On the outside it looked like a legitimate concern. I have over-obsessed about job choices and benchmarking whether or not I’m on track. I have been depressed because I made decisions that didn’t turn out as I would have expected. I could go on, but you get the point.

Only within the last couple of years, once I realized it was just a distraction, have I been truly happy with both career and writing (after all, I get to write at work!). I have been able to move out of my own way and let things flow as they should. I have stopped the self-sabotaging behaviors and have embraced letting the two live together. This is much better than trying to suppress one at the expense of the other.

If you have one thing that is a reoccurring issue in your life (relationships, work, weight loss, family) I encourage you to pick up a copy of O’s October issue. There is a great article on page 59 about distractions, or as they call it, designated issues.